At the Bar: Where Ya Been?

I sit here on a Tuesday evening, after a full day of teaching and being at the studio and I start putting my fingers to the keys of this computer to write and well, what is there to say other than it’s been a minute. I’ve been thinking about this blog and the guilt of leaving it empty with nothing new for quite awhile, but every time thought about writing, I haven’t known what to say, because ultimately…… I’ve been really busy living.

While one would think that the summers are a little calmer for a dance teacher, this summer has been busy. Planning, creating, teaching, building, growing….. both personally and professionally.

But honestly, here I am on this Tuesday evening taking stock. I just got off the phone with my dad and he said “you’ve always felt at home at that studio.” And after spending the day teaching, connecting with a friend who came to teach for us, updating syllabi for this year, and getting to know some of my dance parents a little better, getting to share our lives and experiences …..and then… to talk with my dad and remember that little girl that would do her homework there, go there on days off and do full ballets as a one woman show, and dream to be a ballerina…… and now, years later, be there sharing this art with the next generation…..there’s nothing left to say other than… it’s amazing.

Now that’s professional fulfillment.

Then there’s the personal.

Here I am coming off a weekend of being with Mr. Man’s family on their family vacation and next week, we are both headed to my family vacation.

We both are so lucky to have amazing families that love us, care for us, believe in us, and support us. And how lucky we are to have relationships with our families in which we deeply respect what our families have given to and done for us, but yet we get to share in life as adults and have what I believe an even deeper emotional and special connection. I think we all may laugh more now than we ever did.

Next, I’ve got fabulous friends. A saw two of them get married this summer and got to spend time with friends that will always be connected on a familial level. I’ve gotten to sit by the pool with friends and catch up on life, watch guilty pleasure Bachelorette episodes with them, and share a cocktail. It’s a special thing.

Then there’s us. We moved in together this summer. And y’all I have to take a minute. When people say “when you know you know” they make that a short phrase because it encompasses so many things.

You know because you’ve hit a place in your own life that you know yourself.

You know because you trust yourself.

You know because you respect the person you’re with.

You know because they respect you.

You know because every day you get to be exactly who you are and you don’t have to pretend about a damn thing.

You don’t have to search for anyone to validate you.

You don’t wonder how they feel. You don’t wonder how you feel.

You are a team but you get to also be your own player.

I know I gush about Mr. Man a lot. But y’all it took a lot to get here. A lot of personal exploration. A lot of people pleasing that worked then, but maybe wouldn’t work now.

And honestly, I’m jumping around a bit, but key being, I haven’t been blogging a lot lately. Where have I been? Honestly…. I believe I’ve been living the “good ol’ days.” The ones that some day I know I’ll be like “those were the good old days” but I’m choosing to see that they are now. I’d rather acknowledge it and be aware of it now. Are things perfect? No. But….

Things are good.

Things are beautiful.

Things are kind.

Things are about growth. About acknowledging what’s happening in order to be better. About purpose. About knowing how to keep growing. About committing to love.

These are the good days. And for that, I wake up every day…. grateful.

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